Want to drive women crazy in bed? The answer is all in the preamble – better known as foreplay – and how you handle her far too often ignored secret sex spots, known as erogenous zones. So what are erogenous zones? Here’s what the Merriam-Webster online dictionary has to say about them:

1. Producing sexual excitement or libidinal gratification when stimulated : sexually sensitive

2. Of, relating to, or arousing sexual feelings

Ah, you say, erogenous zones, sure, like her mouth, her breasts, and all that wonderful action she’s got going on between her legs. Well, yes and no. It’s not that those aren’t erogenous zones, but on women there are a whole slew of other locations on her body that also cause these reactions. And what’s better, these places are easy to find, easy to get to, and easy to enjoy – but far too many men ignore them at their peril and try to jump into the main action far too quickly, before a woman is good and ready.

Let’s be really clear about this guys, in fact, I can’t say it enough – in order for a woman to really enjoy sex she’s really got to be ready for it, and by paying attention to her “outer” erogenous zones, she’ll be boiling hot by the time you make your way to her “inner” erogenous zones. So let’s take a tour through what these outer regions entail and review how they can help you to really rev her fire:

Her Neck

Some think only the nape of a woman’s neck is an erogenous zone (that spot at the back of her neck, dead center, at the base of her hairline) but for most women her entire neck is incredibly sensitive to stimulation. Run your fingers gently along it when kissing her (as well as along the base of her jaw line), blow on it lightly, break away from kissing her mouth and spend ample time planting kisses up and down her neck and I guarantee you’ll send shivers up her spine that’ll thrill her.

Her Ears

Ears are also very sensitive to touch, but you have to be careful because what one woman finds sexy in “ear-play” another might find distasteful. Some women love their ears kissed and even licked and others hate it (they find the noise disturbing). Play it safe in the beginning and kiss her lobes, even lightly tug on them with your teeth (remember I said lightly) and kiss the base of her ears. Whisper sweet and wicked nothings here (remember women get turned on via their ears) and you’ll really have her attention.

Her Feet

Want to get through a woman’s defenses and make her melt like butter? Give her a foot massage that’ll have her melting into your arms. But here again you have to move forward with caution. Everyone likes different pressure in their massage touch, so start gently and gradually make your grip and kneading stronger – asking for feedback as you go. Also note that many women are very ticklish, and very sensitive about having their arches touched. But with that being said, do a good job, and take direction and soon you’ll find her lovely thighs wrapped around you.

Her Hands

There’s a reason why, in courtly days of old, men kissed women’s hands – it wasn’t all about being polite and showing respect. The hands are very sensitive, and though they’re not quite as sensitive as the lips, the action got a man’s point across just fine. Play with her hands. Stroke them, massage them, kiss and tickle her palms, and soon she’ll be using her hands to bring you all sorts of pleasure as well.

The Undersides of Her Arms

As just a rule of thumb, the undersides of everything on women are more sensitive (yep, buttocks, breasts, etc.) to the touch. From her wrists, to the inside of her biceps, the underneath of a woman’s arms are incredibly sensitive to the lightest touch. Let your fingers do the walking up and don’t this area with light caresses and kisses and make her beg for more.

The Backs of Her Knees and Her Inner Thighs

Once you’ve made her feet happy, work your way up the back of her legs, tickle and kiss the sensitive backs of her knees and soon she’ll let her spend some serious time on her thighs. Her thighs are the gateway to heaven; so treat them right if you want to go inside! Remember that fools rush in. By the time you’re caressing her thighs she’s starting to get seriously turned on, but again you can get into trouble if you go too fast and make her think all you’re after is getting to your own thrills. A woman’s inner thighs are so sensitive she can enjoy your touch through her clothes, so make sure you do a lot of teasing and caressing in this area before you slip those jeans off, or that skirt up. And remember the under sides of her buttocks are incredibly sensitive too, spending time here, stroking and teasing her will really get her juices up.

Moving Towards the Inner Sanctum

So now that you’ve had a tour of the “outer” erogenous zones, you’re ready to start focusing on the “inner” ones – though of course you’ve been paying a lot of attention to her mouth this whole time. But be smart about it even now. Move back up to her breasts (paying attention to the sensitive undersides of them) and her nipples, with kisses and caresses before you dive in and see how things are going under her hood. Taking the long slow erogenous road might take more time, and might even make her groan with frustration – but that’s a good thing. Because then she’ll be all the more ready when you finally arrive.

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Techniques for vaginal fingering and other clitoral stimulation. Study the vagina diagram first.

Labial Massage

Place a well lubricated hand over her labia, fingers pointing towards her anus. Pull up toward the navel and alternate hands. Explore the inner and outer lips with your fingers. Pull gently on one lip and then the other. Rub the outer lips gently between your forefinger and thumb, then the inner lips.

A-One and A-Two and a-Three

Try inserting your first two fingers into her vagina, then arch your thumb back ‘hitch-hiker’ style and thrust in until your thumb rests against her clitoris. Now wriggle, twist, thrust, and vibrate your hand to drive her wild.

Close But No Cigar

If your partner has a particular spot that they like to have licked or caressed, try doing so very close to but not quite on that spot. This trick will make them take longer to reach their orgasm, but they will likely have a much stronger, more powerful orgasm when they finally do.

Push Here to Start

Gently insert one finger deeply into her vagina and, when she’s ready, insert a second. Then take your thumb and place it against her anus (Don’t insert it). Press against her anus while you move your fingers inside her vagina.

Tap Dancing

Place the palm of your hand on her mons (the mound where her pubic hair is), and rest your fingers lightly on her vaginal lips. Rest your thumb on her thigh. Lightly but firmly press your palm onto her mons and begin to move your hand in a tiny circular motion. Your palm should not slide too much over her skin during this process. Rather, her skin should move underneath it. Repeat this process until you have done ten circles. You then raise your fingers and lightly tap her vaginal lips about once a second until you have given her ten taps. After giving the taps, rest your hand for five to ten seconds. Then repeat the whole routine over and over.

Cervix Clock

A woman’s cervix can usually be found in the upper rear part of her vagina. The cervix feels like a little dome of tissue, and may also have a small cleft in the middle, like your chin. Carefully stimulate the area surrounding the cervix. Some women may enjoy this and want you to do it more often; others won’t.

From the Outside

Lay your free hand over the lower part of your partner’s abdomen. Experiment by applying different kinds of pressure with the top hand while fingers from your other hand are inside her vagina.

Imitations

An excellent way to learn more about pleasing your partner is to rest your fingers over hers while she is masturbating herself. Then do the reverse, with her fingers acting as guides for your own.

Off the Edge

Another form of genital massage can be done by holding a lubricated vaginal lip between your thumb and forefinger. While squeezing just a little, pull your fingers straight away from the woman’s body. Your fingers will end up in the air an inch or two above her body. If she likes this, repeat it often.

Ovaries

Ask your partner to help you locate her ovaries. They can usually be felt in the deepest part of the vagina and to the far left or right. Some women will like you to massage this area, others will find it painful. Sensitivity will also vary with her menstrual status.

Proper Invite

Begin with a light, gentle caress that barely touches the inner thighs and pubic hair. Don’t go much further until your partner’s pelvis begins to arch upwards. Tease and caress until the lips of her vulva invite your fingers to come play.

Tracing

After applying lubrication, it might be nice to begin with one of the large outer lips. Place the lip between your thumb and forefinger, clasping it at the base where it attaches to the main part of the woman’s body. Then run your fingers (or fingertip) from the lower to upper part of the lip, as though you were tracing one side of a parenthesis. Repeat this as long as your partner’s feedback is positive.

Crecent Moon

Insert your thumb in her vagina, curl your palm around onto her clitoris, and rest your fingertips on top of her pubic bone. Alternate stimulation between the internal G-Spot, the clitoris, and the external G-Spot\bladder.

Four Directions

With two fingers press firmly up/side/down/side in her vagina, eight times each side.

Gentle Touch and Tickle

Tickle the clitoris extremely lightly.

Healing Thrust

Some women might need and want good, hard, deep, vigorous thrusting penetration. Be sure to keep her relaxed – don’t let her get tensed.

Pinch and Pull

Gently pinch and pull on the clitoris.

Rock Around the Clit

With your forefinger make tiny circles, stopping at every ‘hour’.

Temple Gate Tease

With one finger, tickle her vaginal opening as lightly as possible.

Tour de France

Orbit your forefinger around between her inner and outer labia from perineum to above her clitoris.

Triple Digit Pet

Use your three longest fingers, with your middle finger gliding along the outside of her vaginal opening and your other two fingers running along the area where her thigh meets her labia.

Twist and Shout

Using one or more fingers, massage in and out while twisting at the wrist.

IMPROVE ERECTION QUALITY:::: Learn more….

The female sexual organs are both internal and external. The clitoris, mons pubis, inner and outer lips, and the vaginal opening are external, and together are known as the vulva.

Clitoris

Like the penis, it contains sensitive nerve endings and becomes erect and filled with blood during stimulation; has no reproductive function.

Mons Pubis

The mons pubis is a rounded pad of tissue that lies on top of the pubic bone and is covered with pubic hair.

Labium Majora

The outer lips on both sides of the vaginal opening and are covered with pubic hair.

Labium Minora

The inner lips are hairless and folded, and lie between the outer lips and run along the edge of the vagina.

Vagina

A passageway about 3 to 4 inches (8 to 10 centimetres) long; begins with the vaginal opening at the bottom, and connects to the cervix at the top. Also known as the birth canal.

Urethra

It is about 1 ½ inches long, this leads from the bladder to the exterior, and is the passage through which urine is eliminated. It is just in front of the vagina.

Uterus

It looks like an upside-down pear and is about the size of your fist; main function is to hold and feed a developing fetus; the cervix is the tiny donut-shaped neck of the uterus that lies at the top of the vagina and is the part a PAP smear is taken from; the inner layer of the uterus called endometrium, which is what is discarded during menstruation.

Fallopian Tubes

Fallopian tubes are very narrow; extend from the top sides of the uterus; the path along which eggs travel from the ovaries.

Ovaries

Ovaries are roughly the size of almonds; sit on each side of the uterus; produce eggs and female sex hormones, estrogen and progesterone.

Where is the G Spot?

If your partner is lying on her back, then her Grafenberg Area, commonly known as the G Spot, is located roughly 1.5″ inside her vagina on the upper wall. The most ultimate orgasms come from a woman having her G Spot stimulated. This area inside the vagina typically has a different texture; ridged (not as smooth) as the rest of her vagina, and when aroused feels spongy. A G Spot orgasm is often associated with the mystical legend of female ejaculation and 15-30 minutes of a euphoric sensation where she is in complete bliss… Don’t expect much from her during this time, she is in heaven.

G Spot Technique

With your fingers approximately two to three inches in, move your fingers in even circles all around the inside of the vagina. It generally feels best if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the vaginal walls while fingering. You may wish to give a LITTLE extra pressure towards her belly as long as you don’t break the steady rotational rhythm. Stop rotating your fingers and rest your fingertips on the (usually slightly ridged) area of the vagina just behind the pubic bone and exert pressure towards her belly (upwards). This is direct G Spot stimulation, and it usually feels best if the fingers are subtly moving. You can move your fingers in small, slow circles, or point your fingers more sharply and rock them back and forth.

An advanced and very successful technique is a combination of the two. Trace the inside of her vagina with your finger(s), while moving in and out. Make sure that your fingertip always hits the g spot on each rotation. Finding a nice rhythm is critical in this technique, and when you get it right, she’ll be asking you how you learned that!

Stimulating G Spot During Intercourse

You will find some adice on this in our Sex Postition section, but keep in mind the angle you position yourself during intercourse. Being able to stimulate the G Spot during intercourse will definitely increase the likelihood of your partner reaching orgasm through intercourse.

INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE FOR BETTER G SPOT STIMULATION:::: Learn how…. 

One common goal amongst virtually all guys is to last longer during sexual intercourse. Unfortunately, most men can’t last as long as they would like and feel inadequate because of it. The first thing that needs to be understood is that the state of mind a person is in has a huge effect on their sexual performance. Getting all uptight and worried is going to do you no good; neither is having a partner that gets really angry about it. Both parties need to work together to improve the situation, and the most important thing is to stay positive.

The first principle behind the techniques and suggestions listed below is the man’s ability to know his own body. By understanding how his body works and how his excitement rises, he should be able to learn how to pace himself better. It is key to know when to slow down to allow your excitement to drop enough so that you can “re-group” and then pick up the pace again. The second principle has to do with decreasing the sensitivity of the penis. By decreasing the sensitivity, it will take more stimulation to achieve the excitement necessary for climax. The following techniques and suggestions should help boost his sexual stamina, but they are not miracle cures, it will take patience and the right attitude to make things better.

Start & Stop Technique

The primary principle of this technique is to stimulate the penis until near ejaculation, and then stop stimulating to allow the level of excitement to drop. This exercise can be performed alone, or with a partner, and should be repeated 3 to 5 times per session. After 2-6 weeks of using this technique you should notice an improvement in your sexual stamina and will eventually not even have to use it to outlast your partner.

Squeeze Technique

Right before you feel you are about to ejaculate, approximately three or four strokes away, stop stimulating and squeeze the base of your penis by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of the penis. This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response. Be sure to apply pressure a few strokes before ejaculating … if you wait too long, it may be too late! You should be able to apply this technique anywhere along the shaft of the penis, as long as it squeezes the urethra.

Regular Masturbation

A great method for boosting sexual stamina and releasing sexual tension is regular masturbation. By masturbating more often, you can train yourself to become more used to the stimulation. As you get more and more used to it, it should start taking you progressively longer to climax.

Wearing Condoms

Many couples have claimed that wearing condoms significantly reduces the stimulation of intercourse for both partners, but especially the male. If you are not already using condoms to protect against STD’s and pregnancy, try wearing them to increase your stamina. If necessary, consider wearing a thicker condom, it should make a large difference in the amount of stimulation that you feel.

Here’s the deal: As long as men are obsessed with their erections and getting to intercourse with a woman as quickly as possible, while women are obsessed with their poor self body image and too frightened to tell their male partner what they need to happen in order for them to orgasm, both sexes will continue to be greatly frustrated with each other and sex in general.

So here’s a challenge I’d like to throw down to every male reader. I’d like each and every one of you to step back from your obsession with intercourse and instead focus that energy on learning all you can about the female sexual response for a solid three months.

My challenge for our female readers? Twofold – first I want you to learn all you can about just what it takes to get you to orgasm in the first place, and then I want you to find the courage to share this information with you male partner – for a solid three months.

If each of you reading this column would actually take the challenge seriously it would mean that by spring we’d have thousands of men and women far more sexually savvy and better prepared to enjoy their sex lives. Imagine the happiness and stress relief! And we’ve made it easy for you by having at least a month’s worth of great ideas for improving your sex life right here on this site (if not more).

So what has this challenge to do with the right sexual positions? Absolutely everything. Remember, a huge majority of women never orgasm from intercourse, and of those who do, very few are able to each and every time. This information, rather than galvanizing the sexes to get down to business and figure out a better way, has instead helped to make men selfish during sex, thinking more of their own “performance and stamina” rather than their partner’s enjoyment.

Think about it men, how often would you want to have intercourse if the following happened just about each and every time you participated in it:

1. You never reach orgasm from it.

2. Just when you were starting to feel something your partner felt the need to twist into a new position, or had her orgasm so things came to a screeching halt.

3. Rather than feeling pleasure from intercourse your partner insisted on positions that made intercourse uncomfortable or painful for you.

Sounds pretty dreadful doesn’t it? Welcome, my dear men, to the sexual world many women live in. Now of course it’s not all men’s fault. Nope. This whole charade of women lying about having an orgasm when they haven’t has got to stop pronto. What starts out innocently enough out of fear of harming a man’s ego, ends up being the very thing that keeps real sexual connection from happening. So too does the habit many women have of automatically putting the responsibility for their orgasms into the hands of their male partners – without sharing crucial information with their partners about what she needs in order to make them happen.

Everyone, you see, is responsible.

So back to the right sexual position, and exactly what that means. The right sexual position is one that allows the woman enough direct clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm while at the same time keeping the man in enough comfort and stimulation (but not too much) to keep going until this can be accomplished. Since each and everyone of us is unique, however, there isn’t a “magic” position that works for everyone. Also, it’s important to get the idea out of your head that using your hands for clitoral stimulation is cheating. For many women there just isn’t any other way – but whose hands to use (of course) is up to you. Personally I think mixing it up is a good idea.

To make life easier for everyone I highly recommend (especially in the beginning when you’re still learning what works) that the woman either have already had an orgasm via oral sex before starting intercourse, or that she be very close to coming. Why via oral sex? Because it’s the softest way. The action of a man’s tongue isn’t going to make her sore, which you want to avoid at all costs. Also, many women need a good twenty minutes or more of direct stimulation before achieving the first orgasm, but a second orgasm usually happens far more quickly.

Many positions only need a slight variations in order to become one that a woman will find satisfying. I know many men are obsessed with “doggy style” since it’s a position they see so often in porn but remember guys, porn isn’t real sex – it’s entertainment. Doggy style is a position that’s all about entertainment because it allows the viewer to see as much as possible. This position doesn’t do much to stimulate the first third of the vagina (the most sensitive section) for most women, however, but if the man stimulates the woman’s clitoris at the same time what use to be something a woman did because it thrilled her man, can instead become a position pleasurable for both.

However, I do need to mention that the deep style thrusting that “doggy style” allows is just too deep for many women. They complain of the jarring pain of a penis hitting their cervix (note, this isn’t all women, so you need to ask), and that they feel like a “masturbation machine” for their partner because the position’s lack of intimacy. If this is something you’ve felt, or your lover has complained about, why not try a variation? Why not try entering a woman from behind while you’re both on your knees? To steam it up you can face a large mirror so that you both get a good view of exactly what’s happening. In order for the man to get the right thrusting action going to keep his erection the woman may need to lean forward a bit onto the mirror, however, this still means the man’s hands are free to stimulate the woman.

The main thing to keep in mind is that that it may take awhile to find the right position that works for both of you. Many women feel too exposed when they’re on top and a man’s laying flat. Things start to fall apart when women become self conscious, so why not have the man sit up leaning against a stack of pillows so that it’s easy to continue kissing, whispering, etc? Also, any caressing or stimulating he does with his hands of the nether regions of her pelvic floor are going to aid in her sexual arousal as well…

IMPROVE YOUR ERECTION:::::::Learn how….

How to Do

· The man enters from between the woman’s legs as he would normally, but he then moves further up the woman’s body so that the base of his penis (where it meets his pubic region) can make contact with her clitoris when he thrusts.

• The woman can wrap her legs around her partner’s, placing her feet on his calves, stretching her legs slightly as she does so, which again tends to move her clitoris towards the man’s penis. If she rocks her pelvis in this position, her clit should make contact with the base of the man’s penis and she will be stimulated both internally and externally.

The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a sexual position “designed” to greatly improve a woman’s chance of orgasm with genital intercourse. Most women need to have clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Traditional thrusting in the missionary position often is “close but no cigar” as far as achieving this. The clitoris is about 2-3 cm closer to the front of the woman’s body than the vaginal opening. Thus, it is possible, even probable that thrusting misses the clitoris all together. Clitoral stimulation is indirect or sporadic.

The CAT allows the man and woman’s combined thrusting to do the job. CAT is basically a revised missionary position, with the man on top and face to face with his partner (CAT can be done with the woman on top, too). This position is possibly one of the most effective variations of the missionary position to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris and to assist mutual orgasm.

Then, according to sex researcher Edward Eichel, “The subtle, coordinated rocking movement can begin. Here’s the most important part: As she pushes up on the top of his shaft, he resists with less force than she pushes. Now, on the way back down, as he pushes down against her clitoris, she resists with less force than he pushes. The result is a series of “small collisions,” rather than the standard friction of thrusting. But collisions is a strong word.

The movement is subtle, coordinated, gentle, rhythmic, slow-building. Like everything in life, it takes practice. This is more than a position; it’s a coordinated movement, Eichel explains. “We are now talking about vibration, not friction. Less in and out and more rock ‘n’ roll.”

The man is actually shallow when the woman is getting the most stimulation on the downward push,” Eichel says.

The technique was developed by American psychotherapist Edward Eichel and other researchers, and originally published in 1988 in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. Since then, the topic has been studied several times in the same journal. A report in 1992 by Kaplan suggested that Dr. Eichel’s claims were not replicatable, but the technique may have merit in the context of sex therapy.

The Man on Top positions are the most popular sex positions for many reasons. Many women consider it the most romantic position, almost certainly because the couple are always face to face. Every expression can be noticed, they are free to kiss, and each partner can see that they are being loved – something that is not possible in some other positions, such as rear-entry ones.

The Missionary positions, being such passive ones for women, absolves her of the responsibility of making anything much happen. Some women can relax and enjoy lovemaking more if they do not take a dominant, active role.

Man-on-top sex positions aren’t always passive for the woman. With many variations on the ‘missionary’ position, the woman can control the depth of penetration and set the pace for intercourse. Closely allied to such feelings in the woman are parallel but opposite feelings in the man. Some men enjoy ‘dominating’ their partner during intercourse and tend most to enjoy such positions as encourage this – although from time to time most men enjoy other sex positions in which their partner takes the lead and control.

Many women experience great pleasure from being dominated during intercourse. Some women enjoy sex particularly if the man is in control and makes everything happen. Missionary positions are ideal for this. The man, being on top, controls the thrusting and can pin the woman down to the bed and take her roughly and at his pace.

Being ‘taken’ like this can be highly exciting to some women. For the woman who is at all guilty about sexual needs and appetites, this position leaves her free of guilt about sex, because she can think of herself as being overpowered by a much stronger man.

Free to kiss

Because the couple’s faces are close together, they can easily kiss – not just lips but all over each other’s face breasts and neck. This helps create a loving and caring atmosphere. For the woman who is aroused by nipple stimulation, the man on top position allows the man to kiss and stroke her nipples.

*Use massage oil for extra sensuality. Oil each other, avoiding the pelvis if using condoms, then slip-slide away.

Because the man has control of the thrusting he can control his speed to orgasm. This is good news for the individual who fears losing control of ejaculation. A ‘trigger-happy’ man can thus stop when he feels ejaculation approaching, and a man who needs a great deal of thrusting to maintain his erection will also benefit.

Advantages of the CAT position

• This position will greatly improve a woman’s chance of orgasm with genital intercourse
• This is one of the best positions for the woman to reach her orgasm
• Both partners can see each other and make eye contact, thereby receiving feedback from their facial expressions, breathing, and vocalizations
• Coitus can be combined with erotic kissing on the mouth, including such variants as the “French kiss.”
• The man’s groin can directly or indirectly stimulate the clitoris, depending on how the act is performed
• A relatively quick male orgasm can be achieved if so desired; conversely, the greater control afforded the man enables him to delay his orgasm and thereby prolong the copulatory act
• The woman may enjoy the sensation of submission to the male and the freedom to caress him as she chooses
• The woman is able to either hasten or delay both her orgasm and that of her partner through voluntary, rhythmic flexation and relaxation of the pubococcygeus muscles surrounding her vagina
• Very little suppleness or flexibility is required of either partner. Both are able to remain relatively relaxed and avoid fatigue
• The intimacy of full-body contact affords a heightened sensual and emotional experience for both the male and female.

Disadvantages of the CAT position

• This position sometimes produces a quick male orgasm (premature ejaculation)

The movement in this position can turn into a rough friction which does not stimulate either partner.

Foreplay includes a range of activities such as undressing, kissing, petting, and oral sex; but you can add your own thoughts to the list. Sensitive foreplay is so important to good sex because it will help both partners enjoy sexual intercourse more, and it will especially help women reach orgasm more often. Most woman need prolonged stimulation in order to reach a complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required encouragement.

There is no such thing as the definitive foreplay; it is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying those things that make the experience exceptionally pleasurable. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in the brain. Compliment their appearance or other attributes, especially if they have a low confidence level; show them that you care about them and what they enjoy.

Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse is all about paying attention to the details, which is especially important at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued, and the appropriate music is playing. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress each other slowly, because the act of removing your partner’s clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many find that undressing increases the eroticism – stimulating and intensifying the feeling.

During foreplay, go slow; begin by kissing and caressing. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of love and desire, but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, kiss the different parts of your partner’s body, and don’t be restricted solely to the mouth. Most women complain that their partners don’t kiss long enough and rush the movement directly to the genital area. Don’t be shy to experiment on every part of the body (for example, many women enjoy particular kissing and nibbling attention to the neck and shoulders), and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.

Another reason foreplay is important is for the learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend time understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never understand what they really need to be fully stimulated. Don’t be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners gain from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. If words fail you, either SHOW or GUIDE your partner in the direction you want, and encourage them to do the same.

Remember that only by communication can we understand what is required to improve, and that practice makes perfect!

The “hottest” sex positions are the best sex positions and allow both you and your partner to experience the greatest pleasure and come to an orgasm. Seems obvious, right? But it’s amazing how many otherwise intelligent people totally miss this point.

Men are often guilty of wanting to perform the kind of athletic, acrobatic, frequently-changing “sex position” style of intercourse they see in their favorite porn thinking that a woman will be impressed by their stamina and creativity, while women are often guilty of going along with what the guy wants in hopes that he’s taken their pleasure into account as well.

Hot Sex Positions vs. The Wrong Sex Positions

Unfortunately this doesn’t usually happen. Some men are totally clueless and think only of how to get to their own orgasm as quickly as possible, while others want to please their partners but erroneously think this means “performing well” by keeping their erection going as long as possible.

Neither works well because both have forgotten the golden key to great sex – and that’s great communication. And I’m not only going to lay the blame at men’s feet here, many women are still too shy and inhibited to speak up and tell the guy exactly what they need in order to feel pleasure and reach an orgasm during intercourse, often because they don’t really know.

With this in mind let’s take a look at the top three sex positions and look at how they can bring a woman greater pleasure. Men if you find that it’s difficult to keep your erection while bringing a woman to orgasm first (`cause unless you’re into tantric sex and know how to orgasm without ejaculating you’re not going to bring her to an orgasm via intercourse after you had one) than try bringing her close to an orgasm with your hand or orally first before beginning intercourse.

`Woman on Top` Sex Position

If you read men’s magazines the favorite positions in polls (including for women) is “doggy style,” while in women’s magazine both men and women’s favorite position is “woman on top.” Since a large majority (60-85% depending on which poll you read) of women don’t orgasm from plain old intercourse alone I’m going to put the position that puts women in charge of what goes on first…and ladies you definitely need to step up to bat and learn how to be in the driver’s seat for this one.

Variations For Greater Pleasure

Some women don’t like to be “on top” because they feel the man gets to be too lazy and only has to lay back and watch the show. You can remedy this by having the man sit up against pillows so that it’s far easier to kiss and the woman can feel more engaged with the man. The woman really does need to set the pace with this position since she’s the one with the greatest range of motion possible. If she needs greater clitoral stimulation than this position normally gives her she should arch forward and do more of a grinding motion that thrusting so that her clitoris will be rubbing up against the man pubic bone. If she needs even more stimulation she should be brave and use her own fingers to stimulate herself while finding a rhythm that works for you both. The man can add even greater stimulation by caressing the sensitive undersides of her buttocks, or stroking her back door (make sure she’s well lubricated) or even inserting a finger into her anus (but ask permission first).

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`Doggy Style` Sex Position

Men love this position because, well, it’s easy as pie and it allows us to gaze at a woman’s sexual plumbing. For many women it’s a favorite position because it can be great for “G-spot” stimulation, however, for many women men can thrust too deep and actually hit a woman’s cervix, which some women enjoy, but many find extremely painful.

Variations For Greater Pleasure

The key to successful “doggy style” intercourse again is communication. Just as the head of a man’s penis is the most sensitive, the first third of a woman’s vagina is the most sensitive and the “G-spot” isn’t down deep at the back, it’s on the front wall about a third of the way down (though it varies woman to woman) so you need to communicate with your lover to find the right thrust that works for her.

Also, the “G-spot” often needs a lot of stimulation before it “wakes up” so you need to either go down on a woman first orally and make sure she’s either had an orgasm already, or is pretty darn close, or you need to reach your hand around and give her plenty of clitoral stimulation at the same time to make sure she’s enjoying things the way you are.

The problem man and women have with “doggy style” is that it feels very impersonal. To make her feel more connected try a couple variations on the theme such as rear entry while you’re both on your knees, or standing, in front of a mirror so that there’s plenty of eye contact and you both get the visual stimulation of seeing exactly what’s going on – and guys don’t be lazy, unless a woman tells you otherwise, reach your hand around and give her clitoris the stimulation it needs.

`Missionary Style` Sex Position

Yes, the old standard is still a favorite for many couples because it’s one of the most intimate, but again this position only works for both parties with good communication.

Variations For Greater Pleasure

The CAT or coitus alignment technique is a way to make sure you’re lined up to give her clitoris the stimulation it needs to get its groove on. To get into position the man slides forward from his normal resting place so that the woman’s clitoris is receiving stimulation from the base of the man’s penis, also his legs should rest on the outside of her legs instead of the inside. Then rather than using a thrusting motion like you’d normally engage in the woman initiate a more gentle rocking motion, making sure her clitoris is getting the stimulation and contact it needs. The man should push down gently counter resisting the woman’s upward motion.

Check out these hotspots of female body….

Her Neck

Her neck must be one of the hottest spots on the female body. We have never found a method more effective than hot passionate kisses on the neck to turn a good night kiss into an invitation for brunch. There are several things to keep in mind here … but most importantly, control yourself! Hickies may have been the big thing when you were younger, but most women hate them, especially when they have to wear turtlenecks for a week! If you must suck for blood, keep the hickies to places that are usually covered by clothes. Try to have a moist mouth, but don’t slobber! Cover different areas of her neck with tender kisses, using the areas under/behind the ears for extra stimulation. Light nibbling and tugging usually work really well also. Start out soft and gentle as she gets into it, slowly go harder and wilder to light that fire of passion within her.

Her Ears

Bundles of nerve endings are in and around the ears, making them ultra-sensitive to your touch. Use the pads of your index finger and thumb to massage the outer ears with slow, firm movements. Gently squeeze the earlobes. Explore the area behind the ear with your lips and tongue, and then exhale deeply but gently while you keep nibbling. Don’t be shy about making noise while you’re lingering there, the sound of your breath and moans is a huge turn-on for most women. Make sure to remember there is a fine line between sensual ear play and “wet willies”. Very few women enjoy having someone’s tongue jammed down their ears!

Her Lips

The number one mistake guys (especially married or in long term relationships) make during sex? Not enough kissing. Women love to kiss, and many of them complain that guys just don’t spend enough time on it. But don’t just kiss more, also do it better. Try varying the intensity (kiss her softly, then more passionately, then slow it down again). When you’re done with her lips, move on to her cheeks, eyelids, forehead, nose, neck, or earlobes (stressing neck and ears). Don’t get dull doing the same thing over and over; make sure to mix up your style. If you generally move your hands all over her body when you kiss (which, by the way, is really good), try kissing her for several minutes without letting your hands roam (focus all you passion on the kiss), and let her indicate when she’s ready to move on.

Her Scalp

You’ve noticed that a lot of women play with their hair? It’s not just a nervous habit; they do it because it feels good. Chances are she’s wishing you would play with it, too. The scalp can be very sensitive to stimulation, and since she’s probably not expecting you to lavish any attention on it, surprise her. Having her hair brushed can be a very sensual experience. Or run your fingers through it as you’re kissing her, or, simply caress her scalp gently with your hand. Get some bonus points for washing or blow-drying, just leave the actual styling to her – you’ll never get that thing with her bangs to work out right. On the other hand, some women have phobias when it comes to having their head touched; start out slow so your partner has a chance to stop you if she is one of those.

Her Breasts

Breasts are familiar territory for most men and they’re fun, so it’s unlikely you’ll shortchange them. The mistake you’re more likely to make is giving them too much (or too vigorous) attention before she’s ready. Over-stimulating the breast can be numbing or painful for women during some parts of their menstrual cycle. Try taking the less-is-more approach. Touch her breast softly, then lift your hand away for a moment, and then continue. That allows her to have the important moment of anticipation. Stick to indirect stimulation of the nipples until they become aroused (hard) and don’t just focus on the bull’s-eye; same concept as before – anticipation.

The entire breast is rich in nerve endings and all breasts have the same number of nerve endings. Thus, the woman with smaller breasts may experience increased sensations per touch. This results from a condensed amount of nerve endings. All breasts respond with time; lovers, go slow, take your time and slowly fondle the breast. Areas that are especially sensitive to touch include the nipple and the areola (the pinkish area that directly surrounds the nipple). One of the most sensitive spots, which is often ignored, is the underside of her breast. When kissing and touching her breasts, try starting around the outside and moving inward with slow circles. She may push your mouth or hand directly to her nipples, but don’t let her do it, just continue moving slowly towards her nipple. Take your time; she is not going anywhere, so tease her. This whole process should take at least a few minutes. Next, wet the tip of your finger and lightly touch and roll her nipple around. Then, very lightly, using your fingertips, squeeze the nipple between them and when they are nice and hard, bring your mouth in. Note: some women enjoy nibbling and rougher play, while others are really sensitive and prefer light soft touching. Find out her preferences by asking or watching her reactions.

Her Perineum

The perineum is the area between the vagina and the anus, it is very sensitive for a lot of women and it often goes unexplored. It’s made from tissue similar to the vaginal lips so there are a lot of nerve endings there. It also has an element of intimacy that might turn her on. Some girls are scared of or disgusted by anal play, so if this is the case, ease her mind by reassuring her that you are not going to do anything she is against. It’s not a part of the body that’s normally exposed, so she will feel like she’s giving you special privileges, which can be exciting. This area is like any other area you first encounter that is sensitive, stick to a light touch at first and hold off until she’s been aroused for some time. For a smoother experience, try using a little lubricant.

Her Clitoris

It is located at the top juncture of her inner vaginal lips, a small knob of pink flesh. Women like different amounts of direct stimulation on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clitoris, others would shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you’ll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she’s very excited (i.e., very wet). The fact is, most women need a good bit of arousal before having their clitoris targeted, but once they have reached that point, that’s where many women want you to devote your attention. Refer to the diagrams if you are unsure of where the clitoris is located.

Her Other Soft Spots

Here is where you can be really creative. Try tenderly kissing or caressing the backs of her knees, the insides of her arms, her inner thighs, or her palms. Women love to have these areas gently stroked, kissed, licked, or blown upon (be gentle on these areas, they are made of very soft tissue). Gentle stimulation is usually more arousing than pressure that’s hard or rough. Catching her off guard can be half the fun. A lot of people don’t realize that having a tongue going up their inner arm is going to be erotic. Again, we must stress that skin is the largest organ; there is lots to explore, so get at it!

Her Buttocks

Ready to get to the bottom of things? A lot of women like their buttocks attended to, and with more vigor than you might think. You can use pressure on a butt that you wouldn’t use on a breast. It’s not sensitive the way a nipple or a clitoris is so you can knead them and squeeze them. Many women are self conscious about their behinds, so spending time here will show her that you like it, and hopefully allow her to be more comfortable with herself and you.

The Small Of Her Back

Don’t make the mistake of making her breasts the only stop on your way to the main event. That’s what she’s expecting. Surprise her by asking her to lie on her stomach and massage her lower back. Besides being rich in nerve endings, the small of the back has pressure points where stress can accumulate. A massage there might not turn her on in the same way that sucking on her nipple or rubbing her clitoris will, but it’ll feel good and help release stress. What’s more, it could even help with arousal, by increasing blood flow and engorgement in the pelvic area. Start by applying steady but moderate pressure with your fingertips and if she likes it, work up to a deeper massage. It never hurts to throw in a few kisses there as well. One technique we have learned usually works well with a massage is; while you are massaging her, take a minute or so to kiss her neck, then run your tongue very softly down her spine. After this you can continue with the massage or “go for lunch!”

Her Fingers and Toes

A little creativity can go a long way when sex is involved. Here’s a tip: Try sucking on her fingers or toes during foreplay or intercourse. (Granted, unless you’re a contortionist, the toe thing may be a bit rough during intercourse, but you can usually find her fingers.) They’re a lot more sensitive than you might think and for whatever reason, a relatively large area in the brain receives sensation for them. Lightly kissing or passionately sucking them, especially combined with the sensations you’re causing in her genitals, can be incredibly erotic.

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